


Heartbreak

by Tammy3enn50



Category: Gregory Horror Show
Genre: Animal Abuse, Anxiety, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bodily Harm, Bullying, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Crossdressing, Gen, Gregory is not trans, Mentions of Death, Murder, Non-Consensual Touching, Running Away, Transphobia, You'll see what I mean, physical bullying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-08-07 00:18:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16397819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tammy3enn50/pseuds/Tammy3enn50
Summary: Gregory just wants his Mama's love, and feels he has to change himself to get that.Follows him through a time in his life as a middle school aged child.--Inspired from some headcanons I have about the characters and the series. Mind the tags.





	1. Beginning

Gregory whimpered as he hesitantly removed the tissue. He glanced at to see it was full of blood and tossed it aside in the trash can beside him. Quickly he grabbed another tissue and pressed it into his nostrils with a small whine. It hurt.

He blinked, feeling his eyes burn from salty tears, and desperately wiped his hand over his face to rid of them.

Cradling his knees, he leaned into his bed frame and trash can, wondering how to feel. His Mama had really always been cruel to him, for a reason he couldn’t figure out. She hardly bought things for him, but seemed to always be carrying in bags of things that she’d stash away in her bedroom, always wondered what it was, but feared to pry.

He could hear her shouting from outside the room, somewhere around the living room. Tossing the tissue he had, he snatched another one and desperately pressed his weak arm into his face. He crawled weakly over to his bedroom, door and laid into it, placing his large rat ear in a way that he could well hear what was being said.

“Always so insensitive and useless, too rowdy and aggressive.” He heard his Mama shout. He slumped a little, feeling the lightheadedness. “This is why I wanted a girl.” She declared to the empty house as something slammed down. “She’d been so sweet and kind to me, and listen a lot better. And never make a damn mess of the place.”

Gregory whimpered, feeling his chest. A girl? She wanted a girl instead of a boy?

He pulled the tissue from his snout and noticed there was hardly any blood on it. He gingerly tapped his clawed fingers at his nose, to find it’d stopped bleeding. He could still hear his Mama shouting still.

He shifted from the door and rubbed his face of tears again. Would she be happy if he was a girl? Would she love him? Would she not yell and hit him? If so. Then he’d be a girl.  
But he’d wait. Knowing his Mama, he’d get worse if he’d leave his room to bother him while she was angry. But he knew of a place he could get girl clothes; the attic. His Mama was sorta known for her looks in her youth and had many pretty clothes for a long time, but after his Papa had left her, she’d cared less for her looks; finding all men to be worthless. Maybe that’s why she wanted a girl. Well, he was going to be one.

Crawling over to the toy train on the track on the floor, he pulled it up. He loved trains, always had. This train and all its tracks had been gifts he’d receive over the past 15 years of his life. The first was a train which was a gift he received when he was born from his Mama. He really didn’t start playing with it till he was a little older and started to understand things and walk. As he got older a new collection of a few track pieces each birthday, and would excitedly add them on. He understood that he was only going to get anything beyond food and other needed things on his birthday. Even if it was just a train track.

He held the old toy train in his furry hands and sighed. But a girl does not play with trains. Putting the train aside he started to break apart the track and pile it together inside of his pillow cases, careful not to make lots of noise. He hesitantly placed his toy train on top of all the tracks and tied the cases closed by using the case itself. Placing the filled pillowcases against his bed, he looked around his room.

Just a bed, a trash can, a basket of his few clothes, an alarm clock on a desk with a chair, his school things, and a messed up rug on the floor. Not a lot, but again, he knew not to complain. It was this or nothing.

It really felt empty now with all the tracks gone, and now he really understood what it really took up. Even the storage closet was bigger than his room.

Slipping onto his bed he started his clock, watching the time tick by until his Mama went to bed. Or passed out from drinking wine. It could be a while. He sank into the bed, hugging one of his pillows to his chest. But when that time came, he’d be happy.

That’s what he hoped at least.

 

8:25pm came and he could hear the strong snore of his Mama from the living room. This meant she’d passed out from drinking.

He slipped from his bed, slinking over to the door, he made mind to keep the floor from making noise. Touching the cold door knob, opened the door as quietly as he could. Slipping through the cracked door effortlessly, he stood in the hallway, and look down towards the living room where his Mama rested.

He started to walk when he heard his stomach growl loudly, pausing him to cover his stomach. A sadly familiar feeling. She starved him of his dinner like most nights.  
Ignore it.

He walked over to the closet nearby and opened it quietly, and reached inside till he felt the cold metal he was looking for. With both hands, he shakily guilded it from inside and into the hall. A ladder. Glancing to his passed out Mama, he slowly opened it up and positioned the ladder below the square cut in the ceiling where the attic was.

Gripping both sides of the ladder, he stepped one foot onto the bottom rung which made it rattle back and forth due to its unbalance from its withered feet. He cringed, digging his fingers into the sides of it. He glanced back. Still past out.

He swallowed, placed his other foot on the second rung, feeling it teeter and squeak. Quick bitching, do it now. He breathed in and looked up, sliding his hands up the ladder. He pushed on, get it over with. Once he’s up there he’ll get what he needs.

Reaching the top he touched the ceiling, feeling it’s old wood against his pads. It was, soft. Placing both hands flat against the wood panel, he pushed up, releasing dust from inside. He coughed, losing his balance, he dropped the wood against the floor of the attic inside and gripped the top of the ladder with a whimper.

Glancing back, he slipped up inside and looked around. The floor had almost finished and you could see the insulation where it ended, it was pretty much the size of the house though. He didn’t have much light though, just what came up through the hole from the living room.

He looked towards the only boxes inside and crawled over to them. They were sealed shut but written on them was “Old clothes” in his mother’s skilled handwritten. It reminded him of the letter’s she’d written on the boxes that the train tracks came in. Train tracks. He should put them up here.

Using the nail on his index finger he cut along the tape, and pulled the flaps, he was greeted with the bright colors inside. The items inside appeared well folded and cared for. They were in fact beautiful.

Placing his hands on the flaps he opened it more. Pulling the first dress up. It was short sleeved with a low cut circle up collar and a long flared skirt. The main color was red with small fake jewels near the neck colored black and burgundy. He felt jittery and unfolded the dress. Due to being fold for so long, it had kinks in it that he could not smooth out.  
Gregory stood up and held the dress out before him. It looked a little long and big on him, but he was small for his age due to his malnutrition. He gently lay the dress on the box and stripped of his clothes to his underwear. Grabbing the bottom of the skirt, he opened it and pulled the dress over his head and let it drop to the wooden floor. It felt itchy, especially at the armpits. He yanked at them and looked down.

The top was very loose on his chest, but that was for he had no breasts. The skirt was so long that it had clumped around is feet. Did he look like a girl? He hoped. Lifting the skirt like a princess, he walked over to the box and kneeled to look more. Maybe there was something he could add to it, like a necklace or a bow or something.

A box caught his eye, and he lifted it out and placed on top of the folded clothes. Opening it, the box was filled with shiny metal and gems. I pulled a necklace out and looked at it. The pendant was of a red gem. Feeling it fit, he put the necklace around his small neck and clasped it. The necklace ended just at the hem of the dress’ collar.

Digging in the box more he found a pair of earrings. He started at them. Cute, but he didn’t have pierced ears. Digging more he found nothing more of interest. He closed it, put it back and dug in the box more.

Noticing a ribbon he pulled on it, but it was stuck. Pushing up the clothes he realized it was on a dress. Pulling that dress out, he looked to see the ribbon was put through loops. He pulled it free of them and held it out in his hands. Perfect.

Clawing through his hair, he pulled some tangles out and gripped a chunk of his hair together, and sloppily tied the ribbon into a bow.  
Getting up, he went to the ladder and clambered down holding the skirt in his lap with one hand.

Gregory slipped into the bathroom of his and turned on the light, and stared at himself in the mirror. He did sorta look like a girl. Maybe makeup would help. But, he wasn’t going in Mama’s room.

He took a deep breath and said in a higher voice “Mama.” He cringed at how bad of a girl’s voice that was. He repeated it quietly to himself, in a shaky voice until he felt it sounded as girly as his whinny teenage voice was.

Now to show Mama.

He walked out of the bathroom, shaking violently. She said she wanted a daughter. Would this count? Would she be mad for him stealing her clothes? With the chances of her loving him and her still hating him, he was going to take those chances.

Standing before her slumped resting body, he swallowed. Even passed out drunk she was a light sleeper. He shakily raised his hand and touched her knee, shifting it back and forth.

“Mama, Mama.” He said in an imitation of a girl’s voice he’d practiced, panic clear in his voice.

Her shadowed eyes open, a strong glare in her eyes as sat up. “What!” She barked, sitting up. Gregory snapped his hand back and cradled them to his chest. His Mama’s face grew confused at the sight of her child dressed as a girl.

With a shaky grin, he lifted his skirt at the sides and looked up to her. “I’m a girl Mama.”

She stared in bewilderment at him, studying his demeanor and attire. She shifted in her seat causing him to flinch.

She smiled at him, which made him lift his head up. “A girl. A daughter.” She spoke in her harsh voice.

He stepped towards her. “Are you happy Mama?”

“Yes.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sorta in a world kinda like The Amazing World of Gumball where there are animal creatures and humans. It's not a big deal, no one really cares.
> 
> I know the series takes place in this old place "The Lost World", but this is an AU. There's references to American things in the series, like the money and the names, but also a lot of Japanese things. (Think the writing that's not English, the lunch boxes, the phrase that Gregory says in The Last Train, and some symbolic things.) I blame it more as it coming from Japan than anything. So this exists in a purgatory of time and location.


	2. Street Vendor

Gregory savored the feeling of his delicate hand being held in his mother’s. It felt so good. It felt so warm. It didn’t hurt. It was something he’d always wanted.

He was dressed in a different dress than last night. Mama had picked it out from the attic and hemmed it while he stashed away his train tracks in the attic. She also retied the ribbon to his hair probably.

They were walking down the street together, Mama said they were going to the mall to get him clothes to wear. That made him feel excited. He knew it was going to be girl’s clothes, but he was getting clothes, and going somewhere he’d never been. Though he’d never really been anywhere. 

A scent caught his nose and he sniffed. It smelled so nice. Something he’d never smelled before. He looked down the street and notice something he’d never seen. People were shouting and crowding around these stalls with food. Some were on the sidewalk, others attached to buildings. 

As they got closer to them, the scent was stronger and he looked up at the adults all shouting at them to whatever strange foods they had. Startled by this, he moved closer to his Mama and stared at them. 

What was this about? Why where are they yelling at him? Where they mad?

Pushing past people who were buying from these shouting men, the mother and child duo made free to an open sidewalk. 

“How close are we Mama?” Gregory asked looking up towards her.

“Almost sweetie.” She spoke with a surprisingly sweet voice. He smiled back. Sweetie? Sweetie. What a nice nick-name.

A large building came before them, and his legs started to feel weak, and his body sweaty. But they didn’t have a car or a card so they had to walk. 

Gregory pouted and put his head, letting his arm slack in her grasp.

“Are you okay?”

“Ahmm, it’s hot.” He quietly whined.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be cool inside.” She replied in a cool, caring voice.

He touched his free hand to his chest. It felt so nice to be loved. He felt so happy. Happy he decided to do this.

As the came up to the doors, he reached a hand but was surprised the doors opened on their own. A rush of iced air hit him, blowing his hair and skirt out. He smiled, it was such a nice sensation. The school had no AC and home couldn’t run it. There were lots of people inside, which made him feel a little anxious, but with his Mama, it was better.  
She dragged him along as he looked around at these odd small stores around him. This was weird but intriguing. All these things he’d never known about til now. All this. Would he ever know about this?

His Mama took him into a shop with lots of bright lights and pink galore. It also smelled of some hideous perfume so pungent he had to cover his nose.

“Welcome!” A cheery voice said at the entrance, “let me know if you need any help.” She added with equal feeling. His Mama addressed her and dragged her child over to a section of the store.

He looked up at all of them and studied the complex stitching and additions he never knew could be. His Mama took a dress down and removed her hand from his, much to his dismay. He held out the dress before him and he stared.

A pale pink dress with a very puffed out skirt and lots of smooth ribbons. It was like a princess dress.  
“Aren’t I too old for that?” He sheepishly asked.

“Well.” She frowned and he flinched. “Maybe.” Putting the dress back. She retook his hand and he smiled.

She lead him over to another section and let go of him. Shifting through the clothes she seemed determined to find a perfect dress for him. He looked down at the tag on the nearest dress and looked at the price. 

“How can you pay for these Mama?” He meekly asked.

“Don’t work about that. I’ve got the money.”

He felt confused by that. If she couldn’t afford good food, anything for Christmas, and just a few train tracks for Christmas. But clothes? What?

“What about this one sweetie?” She asked holding a pink dress that was very modest and long. 

“Uh, I like it?” 

“Good!” She continued to look at the dress, snatching up ones she thought fit the kinda stuff she likes but fit under “not being for someone too young”.

Gregory’s attention wandered and he looked over at the closest things near him. A sweater. He stepped away and started looking at it. I look really cozy and soft, something he’d always wanted it felt. It had purple and dark red horizontal stripes on it. He took it from the rack and held it before him. It sorta looked like it fit and it was a girl’s sweater since the store only had girl’s clothes.

“Mama. C-Can I get this?” He asked, coming over to her.

She glanced aside and back to where she was looking. “No.”

“Wh- but I could wear it with a skirt?!” He held it towards his chest.

“We’re getting dresses.”

“Girls don’t only wear dresses.”

She sighed harshly. “Fine, but only if the skirt is really nice.”

“Really! Thank you, Mama!” He smiled and rushed off to find a skirt. Looking over them, he wasn’t sure which one. What was a nice skirt? He glanced by to his Mama. Something super girly probably.

He scoured the racks till he found a black one with a bow on the hip and lack hanging from the left hip. He smiled, simple yet girly. He scooped up the skirt from the rack and rushed over to his Mama.

“You find one sweetie?” She asked when he came to her side, her arms full of dresses.

“Mhhm.” He held it up pridefully.

“Hmm, a bit plain, but alright.” She started walking away from him so he followed, happily carrying his sweater and skirt.

She dropped the dresses down on the counter and he slipped his two items onto the counter to.

“Oh my! Getting a whole new wardrobe are we?” The lady gleefully asked. 

“Ah yes, she’s gotten a whole new style and we have to accommodate.” Mama gleefully said. She.

“Oh really? Well, you’re a very kind mom then.” The lady smiled down at him. He looked down. Kind.

The lady scanned everything and told the price, which startled him. He thought his mom would complain it was so high, but she didn’t. She handed over her card which surprised him. 

The lady bagged them and she led him out of the store. “By you, two hope you come back sometime soon! We’re getting a lot more items soon.”  
His Mama took his hand again an lead his through the mall. “Mama. The exit’s that way.” He pointed.

“We’re not done yet!” 

He frowned and looked towards the door, feeling a little dread.

After they headed over to another obnoxiously smelling store, which was all about accessories. Mama shopped around for bows and things for him and paid for them at the desk.

“Another thing,” Mama started, “I wanna get her ears pierced.” 

“What?” Gregory startled. “I can’t wear earrings in school Mama.”

“I know, but it’s for fun. You’ll look pretty.”

“Okay!” the lady behind the counter smiled, “I’ll get someone to help.”

Gregory stood there anxious, his ears pierced? 

“Come on.”

They followed over to a chair and he hopped on and was handed a stuffed toy. He hugged it tightly. His Mama and the woman spoke a bit while another woman came over to him with some items. He squeezed the toy in panic. 

He closed his eyes and felt a little sick, and just waited. He startled when he felt something touch his ear. 

“Relax it’s just disinfectant.” 

He nodded and waited. The woman continued as he squeezed the toy and felt a strange feeling and it ended. He opened his eyes and looked up. 

“One done.” The woman said.

His Mama smiled at him, and he looked down. She was happy. He’ll do whatever. 

The same things happened with his other ear, and he relaxed, lessening his grip on the toy. It wasn’t as bad as he thought it was.

“And done.” 

He opened his eyes and felt the toy get taken from him.

“Come on sweetie.” His Mama said, taking him down from the chair. 

They paid for everything again and left.

He groaned as they left, feeling pain in his stomach. He felt dizzy. 

“Mama. I’m hungry.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get food after this.” 

He frowned and touched his stomach, he hadn’t had any food since lunch yesterday. Wasn’t even big since he was home for the weekend. Tomorrow was school. School, he liked school. He wasn’t home when he was a school. Which means Mama couldn’t hurt him.

They came to a yet another stinky place with a smell he did not understand. People were seated in chairs with a cape over them.

“Oh, welcome,” A woman said, coming up to them. 

“My daughter would like to have her hair done.” 

“Mama, I can’t wear my hair done up to school.”

She glared down at him but quickly softened her expression. “I know that sweetie, but it’s just for fun!”

The woman stood there expectantly, he frowned, looking down. 

“Come with me.” The woman smiled and he followed her over to one of the strange chairs. He hopped on and she caped him, dragging her sharp styled nails against his cheek while pulling at his blond hair.

“So what’s your name?”

“Gre-”

“Gracie!” He’s Mama interrupted, he closed his mouth to a frown. 

“Ah,” The woman snapped, pushing his hair around his head, and pulled at his ribbon. “What an odd name.”

“No!” He grabbed the ribbon before she removed it.

“I have to take it out to do your hair.” He hesitantly removed his hand and put it down. He didn’t really want her too. 

She pulled the ribbon out and tossed it onto the counter carelessly. 

“So what do you want?”

“Something pretty, like curls or a fancy style or something.” His Mama answer. Gregory fiddled his fingers against each other.

“Alright.” The woman said, somehow taking something so vague to get an idea. The woman pulled out a comb and some bottle and got to work raking the comb against his head. He cringed, holding back noise. How horrible. If his hair was ever trimmed or brushed it was his Mama doing it. Sometimes he’d worry he’d get stabbed by scissors.

Finding his hair to be fitting to her, she pulled some clunky scissors out and started snipping and snipping. And her felt sick. He wasn’t so sure he wanted to do any of this anymore. She yanked his head and scolded him for moving it, he tensed, wait to get hurt, but didn’t.

She continued on doing so and almost seemed angry at him. She picked up some strange thing and messed around with it for a while before holding his head. “Hold still.”  
She looped his hair around it and clamped it against it and kept it there a minute. He could feel the heat come off of it, and cringed. What was this?

She pulled it away and out came a springy curl which bounced into a coil. Fascinating. She continued around before all of it looked that way. He felt a little silly. She messed around with his hair again until she seemed satisfied and uncaped him.

“An done.” The lady announced. Gregory sat there a moment studying it.

His Mama went away with the woman and left him there. He can’t wear his hair like this to school. No way! He’ll get sent home.

“Come on!” His Mama called and he hopped off the seat and came over. With all the bags in her hand she couldn’t hold his hand, so he just followed her.

“Now can we eat Mama?”

“Yes, yes.”

She bought a strange thing and handed it down to him. He took it, looking at it. It was cold. He licked it. And sweet.

“Thank you, Mama.” 

“Come on.” 

Finally, the left the place and the sun had started to pass Noon. He walked close by her all the way home, finishing whatever he’d been given to eat.

Letting both of them in, Mama lead the way. Gregory closed and locked the door and followed her over to his room where she deposited the items.  
“We’ll need to get you something to keep the clothes in.” 

He nodded, looking at the basket he still held his clothes. Old clothes.

“Come on.” She motioned and he followed her to her room. He felt his heart beat hard in his chest. Never had he been in her room. What was in there? What’s gonna happen? Will she kill him? No that makes no sense, why would she do that. After everything she bought today.

Unlocking her door, she let him in. It was rather lovely; a large well-done bed, a vanity, two nightstands, lamps, a clock, a closet, a dresser, and a wall mirror. There were also some things on the walls. So much more than he’d ever had. She was really holding back on him.

“Sit here.” She said, and he hopped onto the chair before the vanity and stared at himself in the mirror. She opened a drawer and pulled out something. She turned and posed.   
For a while he sat there, moving his head around, doing as he was told, and making strange faces as she smoother his face with makeup.

Once she was done she let him look at himself in the mirror. He looked… silly.

She turned him on the chair and looked down at him. 

“Oh, my beautiful little daughter.” She beamed and kissed him on top of his head. “All I’ve ever dreamed off.” She pet along the bottom of the curls of his  
hair. “I’m so happy.” She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close to her. He returned the hug. He felt warm. Happy. Safe. Loved.

If he wanted more love like this, then he’d just have to suck up any grievances he may have.

Any yet.

That night he cried.


	3. Hell's Taxi

Morning came and Gregory whined when his alarm set off, startling from his sleep. He grouchily stared out to the door across him and remembered yesterday. He was a girl now…

He sat up and looked at his nightgown his Mama bought and frowned. He knew he hated this, but he also just needed to shut up. He startled and his ears perked up in alert when he heard footsteps come down the hall.

His heart pounded when the door started to open, but it was a cheery mom beyond it. 

“Good morning sweetie. Get ready for school!” 

He nodded back and looked down when she left. Never did she greet him in the morning. He’d have to get up and leave for school or else.

Slipping off the bed he went into the bathroom and rushed a shower, and dried off. When he came back to his room, on his bed was a uniform. No his uniform. At least now apparently. But this was the girl’s uniform. He frowned, starting at the sailor style uniform splayed out for him.

Sighing, he decided he’d have to wear it. Closing the door, and dressed in it, tying the scarf properly and made sure he had the pin on. He gathered his supplies and whimpered. Ready, he left the room, and came to the hall, just ready to leave.

“Where are you going, sweetie?” He heard his Mama.

He turned around, surprised to see her at the old rickety table, with lots of dishes laid out. He dropped his bag on the floor and stared. Food. Breakfast. He came over to the table and hesitantly got into the seat. A traditional breakfast. How could she afford this?

“What? A growing girl’s gotta to eat.” His mother playfully spoke. He looked back down at it, unsure like he thought it was poisoned. 

Hesitantly, he ate, but really couldn’t eat it all. His body was not used to eat a lot at all, so he finished before he emptied the dishes.

“I-I’m full.” He bit his lip. 

“Okay.” She smiled and got up. He flinched but realized it was stupid to do so and got up.

“I-I’m gonna go.” He turned sharply and went to the door, and picked his bag up. 

“Wait before you go.” She held a lunch box out to him, wrapped and everything. “Lunch.” She smiled. Stunned, he took it and nodded.

“Thank you, Mama.”

“Anything for my daughter.”

He turned and left, keeping his head down as he slipped out of the house. Suck it up.

With false confidence, he walked down to school, ignoring those around him.

Coming into the school, he changed his shoes and headed down the hall to his class. Others around him whisper and stared at him, all recognizing who he was. Snickers came about, and he pushed his shoulders up.

“Gregory.” He startled and looked up to see one his homeroom teacher. “Come with me.” He nodded and followed her along to the teacher’s room. She sat down in her chair and looked up to him.

“Your mom told me about what’s happened.” He stood there stunned and anxious. “It’s a bit weird, but we understand. So I’ve talked to your other teacher’s too and they understand too. But I won’t say the students won’t be mean to you.” He lowered his head and nodded.

“Okay.” She shifted. “I’ll see you in class.”

 

Through the day he sat there in his chair, distracted. He pushed dents into his pencil with his nail as he fiddled with it, hardly paying attention and dreading every teacher rotation that came and went. He could feel others stare and wonder about him the whole time, but kept to himself, ignoring everyone if they tried to bother him.

He sighed when school ended and thought about where he was supposed to clean today. Once most left the room, he looked at the board that listed who and went over to his bag.

As he trudged over to the nearest window someone said his name. He ignored them though until they grabbed his arm to stop him.  
“Hey.” 

He stood there, not really looking at her. It was a classmate of his; some cat girl named Rei. 

“Um… I just wanna know. How come you're not wearing a boy’s uniform, and a, ah, girls one.” She sheepishly stood with a broom in hand.  
He looked down and away.

“I-I don’t mean anything rude by it or anything! I just. Well, yeah.”

He walked away and into the class to sadly clean the windows, while she just stared at him. Why should she have to know? She wouldn’t understand. He’d always hear her talk about how lovely her parents were. He felt a tear in his eye and wiped it away, and scrubbed harder, almost angry.

“Gregory… Uh no. Gracie?” Rei hesitantly said, standing behind him. “Are you okay.” 

He stopped moving, went quiet and then slowly scrubbed it. She stood there behind him and watched him scrub the window diligently, and go over to the other one, minding the other cleaning students who were mostly chatting.

Rei ended up just beside him again and he ignored her.

“Don’t you have something to be doing?” He asked her.

“Uh well yeah…”

“Rei! Get your butt over here.” Shouted another female student. 

Rei stared at him before going over to do her job. 

Finished with his part, he gathered his things and left the school as fast as he could, not wanting to talk to anyone.

Instead of heading home though, he stopped and went down the streets he remembered from yesterday. Not entirely sure why though. He didn’t entirely want to do the same things. But he was sure curious about all the things he saw and experienced. 

Along he went until something that was “sorta familiar” became “completely alien”. He started to feel panicked and was sure he looked really weird. Yeah, no one actually knew him out in this town, he was just this new “girl”.

He stopped, standing there in place, looking at the people around him. He felt sick. He was somewhere he’d never been before when really almost everywhere was that. He felt confused and lost. He didn’t know where he was for once and feared for himself. But no one seemed to care.

Panic he looked around frantically, clutching his things. Everywhere felt like the wrong direction. He looked over to a car, bright yellow. It looked familiar. Like something, he’d seen in a thing on the old TV in the living room. And he knew what to do. 

He ran for the car, dashing past the people around him, making a route to the car. Waving at it, he stumbled to a stop at the door and opened it. He threw himself in and shut the door behind him, looking crazy.

The man looked over at him from the driver’s seat, looking confused. “Where are you headed?”

“H-Home.” He frantically said in a faltering female-ish voice.

“Home? Where’s that.” 

Gregory looked down. “I-I don’t know.” He teared up, feeling sick in his stomach.

“You don’t know where you’re home is?”

“I’m lost. I don’t know. I don’t know where I live. It’s a house, a small one. I-uh. I don’t know where.” He covered his eyes and cried.

“It’s alright. I help you get there.” He said in a calm voice. The car lurched and pushed Gregory back into the seat.

Covering his eyes the whole time he paid no mind to what was around him, and cared little about it too. He just wanted to be somewhere he knew.

“Miss.” He said, catching his attention. He looked up and out the window, he was at his school. Gregory stared and surprised at him. “Don’t be so surprised, you’re in a school uniform.” 

He looked at his wet hands and breathed. “I said I wanna go home.”

“I know, but I don’t know where that is.”

“I-I can direct you. I know it from here.”

“You could walk home?”

Gregory shook his head. “No. Talk me home.”

“Alright.” He put his hands on the wheel. “What first.”

Gregory directed the man all the way there, and when they stopped at his house he smiled. Leaping from the car with his things, he heard the man yelling at him as he rushed to the door.

“Mama! Mama!” He cried, battering the front door with the sides of his fists.

The door suddenly opened and he rushed into his mom, wrapping his arms around her an sobbing into her chest.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” She asked with concern. 

“Ma’am! Hey!” The driver yelled at the two. 

Gregory panicked and slipped from his Mama and rushed down the hall to his room before slamming the door shut and crying against it. He covered his head, sobbing erratically.

He only knew one place.

Home.


	4. Mono Eye Wizard

Gregory shivered as he walked down the sidewalk, hands squeezing onto his biceps. It was pouring rain out, making him completely drenched, but did he care? Not as much as he cared about getting bothered by others.

School had just ended and most kids wanted to wait it out before going home or take an umbrella. Gregory had no umbrella. 

Whenever it would rain after school, often he’d try to stay at the school as long as he could just so he didn’t have to be home. But now he just wanted to get away from people. He knew if he stayed there at the school all he’d get was bombarded by questions and people making fun of him.

They couldn’t understand. What would they know about how he felt? What it meant to him. It made him feel uncomfortable but also loved. They wouldn’t understand what it felt like to fight for your mother to love you. They just think he’s a freak. A disgusting pervert. A crazy person. What would they know? He was a boy. Just a boy in girl’s clothes. A boy who just needed to be seen as something else to be loved by his mom. He didn’t even know what a “Tranny” was.

Gregory could feel tears in his eyes, and he pushed his shoulders up against his neck, as he shivered from the cold rain and wind. A big gust of wind blew at him, causing him to stumble back. He weighed nothing. A loud crack came from the sky from lightning as he stood in place, shivering. Fuck.

A grunting noise from nearby caught his attention and he turned to look, squinting through the rain to see. He saw someone moving around by behind the trees of the woods next to the sidewalk. He moved closer, seeing that the person was turning and crouching constantly. What were they doing?

He stepped closer, sliding slightly on the mud as he touched a tree, hiding behind it to see what they were going.

Watching carefully, he realized that the person was shoveling dirt. But why?

Slipping from the tree he slipped closer to the figure, watching.

He looked into the hole that the person made, seeing that it was much deeper than it first looked. His heartbeat and he thought about what this meant. 

“Gracie! Gracie!” Rei could be heard shouting from the distance. Gregory froze, and stood as much behind the tree he stood beside as he could. The person stopped shoveling and made a noise, which just panicked him more.

He felt himself holding his breath, feeling like when he’d hide from his Mama.

“Gracie where are you?!” Rei kept calling, and he could hear her footsteps get closer.

The person was moving around behind him and he heard a sliding noise and a plop of something falling into mud. 

With a sudden burst of energy, Gregory ran from the trees and out to the sidewalk. A curious noise came from the person as he reached the sidewalk and started to stumble to stop himself. 

Rei ran into him and the fell over onto the grass with a splash of rainwater and mud. 

Gregory quickly started to shove his classmate off of him, who slipped into the grass.

“Gracie?!” She shouted as he stumbled to his feet and booked it down the sidewalk, with a pain in his throat. Oh, God.

Splashing through a large puddle of rain, he felt his legs clean of mud, and feel. He clenched his teeth which clacked and hurt badly. 

He felt dizzy as he kept running, feeling himself slow as he stumbled down the sidewalk towards home.

The white, beaten down house came into sight as he could feel himself loose all breathe. He slowed and tried to stop, but just collapsed to his  
hands and knees. 

He stayed there a moment, breathing hard and crying as he watched the rain splash around him and drip down his hair. He coughed, pulling his hands from the sidewalk to sit on his legs. 

He could have died just then.

He looked at his hands and sighed, clenching them as he stood up, still out of breathe. He looked over to his house and noticed the curtains moved and for a moment met eyes with his Mama. He felt panic as she disappeared from the window. The door opened and out she ran, coming over to her child.

“Oh my God sweetie, what happened?!” She questioned in distress, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him, shielding his already soaked body from the rain. He wheezed, breathless as he felt he couldn’t breathe at all with each gasp.

“Come inside, come on.” she pestered, pulling her child from the ground, and dragging him inside the house. 

He stood near the door as his Mama looked him over. “Are you hurt?”

He stood there shivering, and bearing the right side of his teeth. He made a small grunt.

“Well, you need to take a shower to clean yourself off.” She explained, ushering him towards the bathroom.

He went in and started in the mirror as she closed the door behind him. His uniform was a mess. Pulling it all off, he discarded the clothes in a messy pile on the floor. 

His shower was very warm, and he spent a little too much time in it, for he was cold, and loved the feeling.

When he was finished he caped his towel on himself and shuffled out into the hallway.

He reached for the doorknob to his room but was stopped, but his yelling Mama. He flinched and moved back.

“That’s not your room anymore.”

He looked up at her in confusion, and she gently pushed him over a bit. “This is.” She announced, opening the door.

Pink, pink walls, pink things. That’s what that room was. She turned the storage closest into a room for him. While the pink was annoying, he was so happy to have a bigger room. 

“Now get dressed,” She said, closing the door. He stood there near the door, looking at everything. It felt so weird. He felt lost in this room. It and had colors of a room he’d never known. Things of a room he’d never known. But also how did she do this? How could she afford it?

He shuffled across the floor. He had a new bed with new sheets, a night stands, a lamp on it, a wardrobe, a bookshelf with dolls on it, a new desk and a new rug. All pink and/or white. Like a baby girls room. He frowned. He loved the new size but not so much the girly part of it. 

He’d just have to get over it. 

He opened the wardrobe and was greeted with the many colorful dresses that he had. There was a mirror on the right side. He twitched his nose and grabbed the sweater he’d picked out at the store, and found the skirt too. He dressed and sat on the bed. Noticing the walls had decorations on them, he studied them and found they were all super childish and girly. Ignoring that he was a boy, she should know he’s in middle school, and not a small child.

He turned around and pushed aside curtains to see a window, and that it was starting to be sunny out again. A window. His old room didn’t have one.

Was it even meant to be a room?

He settled on the bed and thought about what he’d just experienced before coming back.

Rei. She was calling for him, well, kinda him. But why? Did she just want to bother him again? Probably just wanted to ask him rude questions she’d have no understand the answer to. 

He just pushed her away and ran. But he was running away from that strange person. 

He hoped she was okay…


	5. Frog Fortune Teller

School came an went, and yes, Rei was okay. She asked him about what he was running from and gave him his school bag. The one he dropped yesterday. The morning was of him panicked to find it, and he was grateful to have it back, and all he said to her was “Thanks”, but she looked really pleased with that.

Today in class students talked a lot about themselves, specificity their futures, and what they want to be. Gregory didn’t participate but listened. He wondered about his future and what he’d be. Or what his future was. He didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life. Or if he could do anything. A few days ago he would have imagined he’d be dead before anything. But not he was not so sure.

His mom had become so coddling and obsessive. Would she let him grow up? He wasn’t sure. Her focus seemed to be that he was young and would be.

He needs to find out his future, or it would bother him. Everyone else has much better opportunities than he believed he ever had. He wonders if secretly, that is what was what he’d have.

And so, he wandered out after school to find a person who could tell him. 

Far more cautious about where he was going, he traveled down the street, looking at shop windows. He’d seen in media things of people who told of futures, and knew he could find that.

A shop with things on the windows marking a place where they’ll tell you your future. He grabbed the door and headed in. He checked his school bag for money, as his Mama had given him some.

He looked around the place and notice a woman behind a desk. He walked over. The desk was oddly tall, but he was short.

“Hello, Miss. Would you like to have you’re fortune told?” She asked.

“Y-yes…” He nodded.

“28 please.” 

“Eh?” He stood there, and pulled out his money and just tossed it on the desk. She counted an amount and slid the rest back, which was more than he expected. 

“Head through the door, she’s waiting there.” The lady instructed. He stuffed away his money and nodded.

He slipped through the door and was greeted by an older woman with a lot of curtains around her and a scarf around her head. 

“Welcome. Come take a seat.”

He hesitantly seats himself across from the woman and started at the glass ball on the desk.

“So, dear. What’s your name?”

“Uh… Gregory.”

“Gregory? Ah, an odd name for a girl.”

“Euh, no Gracie.” He corrected, hating the name.

“Alright Gracie dear. You’d like to know your future yes?”

“Um… yeah?” He clenched his teeth, feeling panic and sweaty. What if it’s bad?

“Alright, alright.” She nodded her head and started speaking oddly, her hands hovering over the ball.

“Ah, I see something. Something wooden.”

“Wood…” He repeated, shifting his hands.

“A door, ah two doors. Side by side.”

Gregory shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with what it could be.

“Many more doors. Lots of people.”

What did it mean? He wondered about how vague a future that is. Was this real.

“And I see you. An older you.”

“Really? What do I look like?”

“Hm… Like you, but older.”

Gregory pouted, “Well yeah, but what am I wearing?”

“A sweater.”

“A sweater…” He looked down. Isn’t that a good thing.

“Am I happy?” 

“No. Not really.” 

He frowned. Great. He’ll be miserable in the future too. “Am… Am I with my Mama?” He asked with a quiver in his voice.

“I don’t know.”

He clenched his teeth. So there’s a chance?

“That is all I know.” She placed her hands down on the table.

“Really? Okay…” He slipped off the chair, grabbed his bag, and walked with lowered shoulders and ears from the store. He looked down the street and pushed past the people walking against him. Just go home.

He walked past the school again and neared the trees from yesterday. He stared at him while he walked, and stopped where he had yesterday. No one was there. He glanced around and headed into the trees.

He stopped before the spot he had seen being dug up and stared. The dirt was almost perfectly smoothed and leaves and twigs had placed all over it. It’s gotta be a body. What else would it be? He touched his chest and sighed. That could be him.

He turned, leaving the trees and walked down the sidewalk home. 

His Mama greeted him when he came in and he sorta ignored her as he went over to his room, but stopped mid-walk. Wrong room. He turned and went into the bigger room.

He dropped his bag by the desk and sighed when he sat on the bed. 

What if he could not be miserable?


	6. Hell's Chef

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit weird, and I don't know how to explain that.

Today was his birthday. With all that had happened the past few days, he’d completely forgotten. That was until he was startled awake by his Mama bursting into the room with a wide smile and a “Happy Birthday Sweetie!”

She walked over to him and scooped his half awake and startled body into her wide arms and on her breasts. His feet danged a little far from the floor with his tail between.  
“P-Please put me down.” He whined.

“Oh fine.” She put him down on the ground and placed her hand under his chin to lift his face up. “My adorable daughter’s getting so old.” She pouted and kissed the top of his head.

She pulled her hand away and he lowered his head.

“I have a lovely day for you today!” She waved her arms out from her body. She turned and scooped a box off the table where she placed. “And I got this!” 

His ears perked up and he grabbed the box. 

“Open it, sweetie.” 

He stared at the large ribbon tied on the box and tilted it around. Something slid in it. His first thought was train tracks, his second that it couldn’t be that. He pulled the ends of the ribbon and slid the ribbon off.

He pulled off the lid and dropped it to the floor with a hallow wobble. Inside was the most elaborate dress yet. Great a new one when he hasn’t even worn any of the ones he has.

“It's to wear today, so you look really pretty. It’s one of my older dresses, but I worked on it so that it would fit you and add to it.”

He grabbed the top of it and dropped the box, holding it out. It was very long.

“Thank you.”

“I’ll let you change,” she left the room and closed the door. 

Gregory stood there staring at the dress, feeling sad. He almost missed having the train tracks as a gift. At least it wasn’t a dress.

Sighing he removed the nightgown he was wearing and pulled on the new dress. He looked down and saw that the skirt stopped just before his feet at his ankles. Still long despite the hemming. 

He from, sagging his arms and shuffled out of his room to the hallway.

“Oh, you’re done?” His Mama asked, leaning from the kitchen. 

“Hmm.” He moved his arms around and shrugged. “Yeah…?”

“Oh, well.” She glanced and smiled. Hold on. She ducked back into the kitchen and emerged soon after, and came over to him, he looked up. “Come on.”

She pushed at his shoulders and he turned around, walking to her bedroom, they went in and he sat down on the vanity chair. She smiled and came over, standing in front of him. Once again she smeared his face of makeups and let him look in the mirror. He looked ridiculous. He really didn’t want to be seen like this at all.

She turned him in the chair and gave him a big smooch on the cheek, which he promptly rubbed at, but became confused and scared when he received a slap across the face. He blinked, holding his hand against his cheek in pain, look up at his Mama who had a mean glare on her face.

He quivered under her and started to tear up. “Eugh, please don’t hit me, Mama!” He begged, and cowered. He heard her breath in and he tensed up.

He flinched when he saw her shadow him and curled down when she wrapped her arms around him. “Oh, I’m so sorry sweetie, Mama just lost her temper.”

He shook in her arms feeling her hand pet his head. He thought that would never happen. How could it?

Mama moved back and gave him a big peck on his forehead, and stood back. “Mama said she was sorry.” She spoke with a sadness at seeing her child crying. He covered his eyes and stayed silent.

“Hey…” She grabbed his wrists and tried to pull them from his face which he resisted. “Come on now.” She pulled and he snapped his head away as she pulled his hands towards herself. 

She pulled him off the chair and started to drag him to her bathroom.

“Please Mama.” He begged, putting his head down and dragging his clawed toes into the floor. “Don’t hurt me.”

She lifted him up from the ground and he panicked kicking his feet. “Calm down!” She grunted, dropping him onto the bathroom floor.

Gregory threw his arms above his head and quivered but nothing happened. The sink turned on and some splashing could be heard before the sink was turned off.

He looked up as she came crouching down in front of him. She held his cheek and he cringed when she brought the towel to his face. Gently rubbing the towel on his face, she cleaned it off the running makeup on his face.

“Relax sweetie. I’m sorry.” She spoke gently, rubbing.

He settled on the floor and thought about how stupid he was being. He needed to calm down. She was a difference now. Yes, different. 

When she was done, she set the rag on the counter and grabbed his arm, leading him into her room again.

“Now relax. You don’t want to be unhappy on your birthday. That’s no fun.” She smiled and reapplied the makeup he’d messed up.

“There you go.” She smiled. “Beautiful.” She lifted his chin up higher. “Oh, My adorable, adorable daughter.” She hugged him and pulled him from the chair before taking his arm and dragging him along.

“Come on. I have something planned for today I think you’ll enjoy!” She cheerfully said. Gregory walked beside his Mama as they left the house and walked down the street. Today was a school day, and really he’d much prefer to be at school. 

Gripping on to her arm, he went down the street with her, he got looks from others, but really it wasn’t surprising. He was just a boy. 

The came up to a place with large doors and people walking out, he gripped her arm tighter watching them. What was this place?

She lead him inside and he was hit with a strong but lovely smell. A smell of meat, herbs, and spices. He looked around at all the people seated at tables eating things from plates. He clenched his teeth and cowered to his Mama. What was this place? 

A woman came over, welcomed them, and took them over to a table. At first, Gregory didn’t sit, but as his Mama did, he copied. He kept his arms from anything and looked down at the table. He’d sorta heard of these places from others, but really never understood them. 

“Here.” 

He lifted his head and saw his Mama holding out something to him. He took it and looked at the item. 

“Get whatever you want Sweetie.” She smiled, and took one of her own and looked at it.

He stared at the menu. It was a lot of different things and he felt lost as to what to pick. He didn’t really know what any of it meant.

He spotted something that looked familiar on it and decided that was what he was going to get.

He placed the menu down and shoved his shoulders inwards as he placed his arms in his lap.

“Did you pick what you wanted?”

He slowly nodded his head and looked down at the menu.

“What is it then?” His Mama leaned closer, still holding her menu. He pointed to the picture on the page and she leaned closer and looked down at it. “Oh, do you want the side it has?”.

He looked at the menu again and nodded. 

“Alright sweetie, you can get that.” 

He looked down again and sighed.

“Is something wrong?” She tilted her curiously. He clenched his teeth and said nothing. Of course, there was. He was freaking the hell out. None of anything that has happened the past few days made sense to him. The money, the clothes, the emotions, the gifts, and the pain. He didn’t know how to feel. Really no birthday was ever good. He’d always been miserable. Maybe he’d just have to find the humor everything.

“Sweetie, hey. Don’t cry it’s your birthday.” A woman came up to the table and interpreted them to ask what they wanted. All of her attention went to the woman instead of him. 

He blinked, holding back tears. No crying, you’ll ruin your birthday. You’ll ruin the makeup. He breathed in and sighed, leaning and laying onto the table.

“Sweetie-”

“I’m fine…” He mumbled into his arms, pushing his nose into his arms.

“Well.” She looked aside. “I don’t want you to be unhappy on your birthday…” Too late. “And you don’t look fine.”

He stayed quiet, and there was an awkward silence between them. Other guests were chattering away, ignoring the two. 

It stayed that way until the woman came over with their food in her hands. 

Gregory sat up and looked down at the plate. Fish fillet and mac and cheese. Humble. He took the utensils out and stabbed into a slice of the precut fillet. Picking it up, he started at the slice of fish, looking at the spices and liquid running down it. It looked way better than any of this he’s had before, at least he thought it would considering the price. More expensive things are better right?

He took a bite from the slice, and chewed slowly, tasting it.

“What do you think Sweetie?”

He swallowed. It wasn’t amazing. In fact tasted not that great compared to something his Mama made before. It was odd.

“This is not what I asked for!” A man from a table nearby shouted loudly, with a slam against the table. Gregory jumped, dropping his fork and cowered in his spot.

“I’m sorry sir, I can get you a new one.” The woman standing before the table meekly explained.

“What? And fuck it up again?”

“Well, you can get another item.”

Gregory, touched his hands to his face, feeling his heart pound.

“It’s okay Sweetie,” Mama cooed. “That man just has no manners.”

Gregory looked over in the direction of the kitchen to see a rotund man lumbering out of the kitchen in the direction of them. What would the chef think? Would he hurt the man? What if he complained about his food? Would the chef hurt him?

Gregory started to tremble and slipped off the seat.

“Where are you going?” Mama asked. 

“W-where’s the bathroom?” Gregory asked in turn, holding tears.

“Oh, just that way,” She pointed in the direction. “What’s wrong?”

He rushed away from the table and into the bathroom door, flinging it open. He stared at the room he was in and headed for a stall. Slamming and locking the door he breathed out sharply and leaned into the door, feeling tears on his cheeks. He gasped a breath and felt weak.

He didn’t know why he just did that other than he wanted to get away. Hide. His legs collapsed and he went to the bathroom floor and cried. 

From beyond the door of the bathroom, he could hear his Mama calling for him. He didn’t budge though.

The clap of footsteps came over to his stall and a firm knock on the door startled him. Gregory launched to his feet and spun around.

“Little girl, why are you in the men’s restroom?” A male’s voice asked, and he could see him through the cracks in the stall. 

Gregory went to speak, but placed his hands on his mouth and made a small squeak.

“Are you okay?”The man asked and his left eye could be seen through the crack in the stall.

“Sweetie! Are you in here?” He heard Mama call from the bathroom entrance. Gregory gripped his snout with his hands to shut himself up as he breathed. 

The man from behind the door disappeared from the door and he could hear the man question his Mama about him. He heard her shoes click on the floor as her feet appeared below the stall. 

“Sweetie come out of there.” She called, peaking an eye through the crack of the stall. He shook his head at her and she sighed. 

“Why are you hiding?”

He looked down and gripped at the skirt of the hand me down dress. 

“Gre-Grace?”

He blinked feeling tears run down his cheeks, but he didn’t touch them.

“It’s okay, come out Sweetie.” 

He stood there, breathing loudly as he refused to leave. No, no way. 

His Mama huffed and moved side to side. “Do you want me to come in there and drag you out?”

He glanced up to her and shook his head.

“Then come out.”

Gregory stood there a moment contemplating before he complied and slide the door lock open. The door swung open and his Mama rushed at him and wrapped her arms around him tightly and kissed his head. He flailed his arms out at this but settled.

“You know you’re in the wrong bathroom, right?” She questioned, but he didn’t respond. 

Mama wiped his face off with tissue and the held his hand as she took him out into the dining area again. He sank his shoulders, avoiding looking at others.

He sat down and stared at the food still on the plate, but a new roll of utensil had been placed on the table. Sniffing, he unrolled the fork and gripped it above the plate. 

This time he went for the mac and cheese. This was a little better, but had a strange strongness to the cheese he did not like. But he wasn’t going to complain. He glanced over to the table where the ranting man had been, and it was empty. What happened?

He looked back down at his plate. Well, he didn’t want to end up like whoever that was.

Silently he ate his food, quiet of complaints he had. He’d finished a little early for he was still not able to eat a lot of food.

“Finished Sweetie?” 

He nodded his head but did not speak.

“Okay.” She shifted, resting her arms on the table.

Mama left and paid for the food before coming back to the table. She grabbed the arm of her child and lead him from the establishment to outside. Once there, she turned and looked down to him.

“I had more things planned to do today, but I don’t think you really want to do anything.”

Gregory nodded his head but avoided eye contact. 

“Okay, Sweetie. I understand.” She turned and walked with her son back home.

Once in there, she told him to go sit down on the couch. He complied and pushed his feet to point towards each other while he waited. 

Mama came over carrying many gift boxes and placed them down around him and one on his lap. He felt an excitement in him but did not express it at all.

He opened each gift but was met with the disappointment of them either being dolls or even more dresses.

Really he just wanted more tracks.

That night he laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, fiddling with the starter earrings that had been forcefully shoved into his ears. A regret lingered in his decision to dress like a girl for love. But pushed it out for it was better than being abused and starved.


	7. Nekozombie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if you like animals this really is not for you. I got sad writing this so that should tell you something. 
> 
> You can read all of it until the warning if you'd like.
> 
>  
> 
> Read at your own risk.

Gregory sighed as he walked down the hallway, making way to the school exit, avoiding students rushing down the hall with rags and butts in the air.

  
“Hey! Gracie.” Rei’s voice could be heard calling him over. He looked down and kept going.

  
“Wait.” Rei grabbed him on the forearm and pulled him to turn towards her. “I know you already did your part, but I need help with cleaning something.”  
Gregory glared at the girl and she pouted, lowering her cat ears. He sighed and let her drag him into the Home Ec. Room. Students were all busy cleaning things around them and laughing at things they aid. A group of boys slacking off glared at him as he came into the room.

  
“Come on,” Rei said, leading him over to a corner of the room. Rei smiled and explained what she needed help with before Gregory employed his help with the problem.

Rei giggled and held her hand up. “Awesome! Thanks so much!” Gregory gently slapped her hand and stood up to walk away.

  
As he was headed for the direction of the door, he was given a big shove which caused him to stumble over. He threw his arm out to catch himself but instantly regretted it for a burning feeling came over part of his forearm. He shrieked and yanked his arm away, before dropping to the floor. He whimpered, crying as he stared at his arm with the laughter of the group of boys being now the only source of sound.

  
Everyone was staring.

  
“Gracie!” Rei yelled and her shoes clapped against the floor as she came over to him. “What the Hell?”

  
Rei glared at the boys and pulled Gregory up at the bicep, and held his weight, bringing him over to the door.

  
“Oh, God.” Rei breathed, staring at the part of his arm that had been injured. She looked away, carrying him over to the Nurse’s Office.

  
The nurse came over and became startled at the sight. “Oh my! What happened?”

  
“She-”

  
“I fell and burned my arm.” Gregory interrupted, glancing at Rei.

  
“Okay.” The nurse looked sympathetic to him and looked at Rei. “Thank you.”

  
Rei nodded, glanced at Gregory and left.

  
The nurse guided him over to a bed and sat him down and took his arm from the one holding it.

  
“How did you burn your arm?”

  
“Home ec.” He mumbled, cringing as she worked to help his burn.

  
“Maybe you shouldn’t do that room anymore.”

  
He didn’t respond, just watched her work. He’d been here quite a few times. His Mama could give two shits to help him when he got hurt, so any injury he acquired was taken care of here. It was always a lie as to where it came from, mainly at school. The nurse asked him if was getting bullied before, which wasn’t the case until now. He became such a curiosity and point of aggression from others overnight pretty much.

  
“There.” The nurse smiled and helped him off there bed.

  
“Thank you.” He quietly said and left the room. He took his bag and went for the exit. The rain was pouring down outside. Amazing. What a shit day.

  
Placing his bandaged arm under his other arm and bag to protect it, he shuffled out of the school doors. He sighed, biting his cheek as he walked, being drenched was annoying, but not as annoying or painful as being in the school right now.

  
Coming down the sidewalk to pass the woods, Gregory cringed and held his arms and bag closer to himself.

  
A squeaky mew came from the trees which caught his attention and perked his ears. He looked over towards the trees and stopped walking.

  
The sound continued and seemed more upset. Gregory glanced around him and stepped cautiously towards the trees. With a crunch of a leaf under his foot, the mewing stopped and he listened carefully.

  
“Kitty?” He quietly called to the animal. He looked around and spotted a frightened yet curious head poking around a tree. Gregory sank down into a crouch and held out his hand to the animal and waited.

  
Slowly yet surely the animal slipped through the wet and dripping leaves towards his hand. It was a small calico kitty. Lucky.

  
It daintily sniffed at his index finger and pressed the top of it’s wet against his hand. He felt a glee at the affection and turned his hand over and scratched its head. He could hear the small purr it made and watched it spin around.

  
It was so skinny. Like he was.

  
“I bet you’re hungry.” He pulled out what food he had left from lunch, and held out a piece of meat on his claw. The kitty sniffed and the licked it from his claw and swallowed it.

  
The low hum of its purr was comforting to him.

  
“Do you have a home little miss?” He asked, watching the cat spin around and hug his knees. A large drop of water dripped onto his head, startling him and making him shake his head.

  
“Probably not…” He mumbled looking at its horribly mangled fur. “Or so I hope.” It was too sweet and trusting for a feral cat.

  
“You shouldn’t be here.” He calmly spoke to the cat and reached out his arms with his bag on his lap. He looked at his bandaged arm and wondered how to pick it up.

  
“Hold on.” Gregory pulled his bag onto his shoulder of his hurt arm and gently scooped the kitty up, with its feet in his hand and arms rested on the bicep of his hurt arm.

  
“There. Let’s go find you a better place to be.” He stood up, pressing the cat into his arms as he slipped up the slight hill onto the sidewalk.

  
Turning down the sidewalk he wondered where to go. He can’t bring the cat home, no. Mama hates cats. Even now she’d probably get rid of it. It needed shelter. And something kinda warm. A little house. Maybe a blanket.

  
Gregory stood there in the pouring rain wondering where to go, while the soaked kitty purred and squished into his chest for warmth and shield from the rain. He smiled, enjoying the comfort of being so trusted like this.

  
The school sounded like a bad option. The town was something he’d get lost in. If he tried to take it home his Mama would see him immediately. He shifted the cat and cringed at the stinging from his arm. He needed to find somewhere and take care of his arm.

  
Maybe somewhere near the house. Like under it.

  
Quickly he went down towards his house but ducked behind one of the neighbor’s houses. Splashing through the unkempt grass in large puddles he came to the back of his house and crouched down and let the kitty down.

  
“Please say here.” He quietly said, looking up towards his window above them. He shifted the kitty more under the bottom of the roof. The kitty mewed and excitedly looked up at him. “Shh… Please.” He begged, and sighed. “Stay and here and stay quiet.” He dug into his bag and pulled out the cloth his mom gave him for lunch and draped it over top of her.

  
The kitty looked at the cloth and mewed again. He shushed her and stood up. “Stay here.” He pulled some more food from his bag and placed it down before her. She ravenously ate it, as he dashed off to the front door.

  
It was unlocked so he slipped in. His Mama almost immediately came to him.

 

“Oh my! You’re all soaked. I didn’t think you’d be home for a while.” She rushed over to get a towel as he closed the door and kicked off his shoes.

  
“I need to get you an umbrella,” She tossed the towel over his head, blinding him and she rubbed at his head making him flatten his ears down. A gasp sounded from her and she stopped rubbing and took his hurt arm up.

  
“What happened to you?!”

  
The towel slid down his head and he let it drop. “I burned my arm.” He responded, looking at the arm too as if he hadn’t been aware of the stinging pain it’s been bringing all this time.

  
“What! How?!”

  
Gregory flinched and took his arm from her. He’d come home with bandages and injuries all the time before. Most from home. And now she seemed to care so much.

  
“I-I uh… I fell on a burner.”

  
His Mama pouted and grabbed him by the arm and took him to the couch.

 

The kitty kept crying and crying outside at night, making him anxious. He could hear his Mama bitching about the crying beyond the room’s door.

  
He sighed, and stood up on his bed, and peaked through the window. The calico was wandering near the window, crying. He opened the doors and peeked out.

  
“Kitty.”

  
She rushed over to the window starring up. The kitty mewed again and he shushed her as quietly as he could.

  
“Please shut up.” He begged, looking towards the room’s door. “Go to bed. I’ll give you more food in the morning.”

  
The cat quieted and he closed the window and collapsed to his bed with a sigh.

  
He started to doze off when a mew could be heard. He sighed, feeling a patter in his chest of fear.

 

The morning he’d snuck bits off food to his lap for the kitty while pretending to eat them.

  
Once outside with all his things, he came around back and to the kitty. She was curled up in a tight ball on the cloth.

  
“Kitty.” He called quietly. He head shot up and around to him. She sprang up and rushed over to him with a loud meow and purr.

  
“I wish you were a quiet cat.” He mumbled, dropping the bits of food down on the cloth. The kitty spun around and to the food and mirthfully consumed the bits. He smiled, enjoying the morning sun and the purrs that escaped through her mouth as she scarfed.

  
“Oh and this.” He pulled out from his bag a small dish and a bottle. “Water.” He placed down the dish near the cloth and dumped some water into the bowl. She looked over and lapped at the water. Gregory smiled, delighted at her cuteness.

  
Once finished the kitty went over and hugged him hard on the knee. He smiled and pet her as she spun and hugged.

  
“I’ve gotta go.” He stood up and watched the kitty. “You have to stay here.”

  
He turned and walked away. A rapid crunching of grass from behind had stopped him though. He turned to see the kitty expectantly waiting. “Noo.” He grabbed her and set her down on the cloth. “Stay here.” He pointed and walked away.

  
A few more attempts are what it took before she settled on the cloth and stayed while he walked away.

  
After school he brought her food he set aside from lunch and more water.

  
And that’s how it had been for the next few days.

 

***WARNING Descrption of a dead animal and more ahead, read at own risk. If you want to skip this part but still know how it ends, scroll until the next line***

* * *

 

A slight spring in his step propelled him forth a bit each step. Delighted he was, for he was going to see his Kitty. He decided to just call her Kitty. He was never creative with names, but it was cute.

  
Coming towards the house, he gripped the lunch box sightly in his fingers and ducked behind the neighbor’s house and towards the back of his. Gregory locked sight towards the spot she sorta lived and stopped in his tracks. The box slipped from his fingers to the grass and rolled over. His breath hitched as he felt panic and disbelief fill him. No, it can’t be. His eyes burned of tears and he burst into a sprint to the spot.

  
He stared, feeling tears fall from his cheeks. It couldn’t be.

  
He crouched down to her, and pet his fingers across her. He looked at his hand which was now bloodied. He looked back at her, studying her spots to see if it was really her. It was.

  
His legs gave and he sobbed, leaning over her body.

  
Who would do such a thing? What would do such a thing?

  
“K-Kitty.” He whimpered, reaching down to her, and cradled her in his hands. Close to his chest, he held her, caring little for the blood he was getting on him. He just wanted to hold her. Let her know she’s loved, even though now she really couldn’t know.

  
He sobbed, hugging the small calico close to him, as though she’d disappear. She wasn’t warm anymore.

  
Shaking, he stood up and looked around. He needed to bury her. Still holding her, he grabbed the cloth from the ground and wrapped her up in it, which she bleed through.  
He clutched her, and took his bag off his shoulder, and held her against his chest with it while wrapping his arms around it.

  
The trees.

  
He hurried over there, trying to not look so strange and concerning. Glancing around he dashed into the trees to where he’d met her. He set her down with the bag and used his claws to dig at the dirt while being blinded by tears. He used his healthy arm to wipe at his face as he worked, choking on spit.

  
Once he thought that it was deep enough, he turned and scooped her up. Giving her a delicate peck on her head, he gingerly slipped her into the hole. The cloth fell off her, relieving her.

  
Gregory grabbed the cloth but paused to look at her. There was only one wound on her body, and it was down her side. It was not an animal that did this. Someone killed her. He felt more pained and teared up more at that. Who would do this?!

  
He wrapped the cloth around her to cover her wound so you could only see the small head which was restful. He stared at her for a moment, at a loss while he pushed the dirt over her.

 

 

* * *

  
He mumbled sweet, loving words to her and slipped a mechanical pencil from his bag. Digging the sharp end into the wood, he carved her name into the wood.

  
“I love you.” He cried, putting away the pencil.

  
“Gracie?”

  
He jumped and whipped his head around to see Rei. His eyes widened and he snatched up his bag and dash from the trees and out towards his home. Without a care for anything.

  
Stumbling up to the door, he snatched the knock and pushed open the door.

  
He ran into his Mama who looked startled to see him. He started crying again, and she stared at him bewildered.

  
“Wha- what’s wrong Sweetie? What happened?”

  
He gasped for breath and dropped his bag. She hugged him to her.

  
“It’s okay.” She cooed, pushing him into her, a devilish smile crossing her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think so far in my story. Comments of any kind, though I'm not really here for a critique.


	8. Bonsai Kabuk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have hay fever so sorry if things take longer.

Days went by and he stayed home. Some had been during the weekend but school came by too. Gregory stayed home. He was too heartbroken to go. His Mama babied him, and while others would thrive in that. He just felt discussed. He hated too much attention especially from her. It felt so fake. But so good.

He wanted to go to school today. 

Mama seemed regretful at this, but did not protest, and helped him out.

“I wish you could wear makeup and accessories to school.” She lamented, brushing at his hair. “You look so adorable.”

He pouted but didn’t show much more. She made a big sigh, and pet his hair. 

He walked away and gathered his things and put the annoying shoes on and left the house, half ignoring her call of affection.

Gregory kept his eyes away from the trees and hurried to school and into the classroom.

Some looked as he slipped into his chair and threw his bag on the desk. He leaned down on the table and buried his face in his arms.

“Hey,” Rei said, coming over and seating herself in the chair in front of his desk. Gregory pushed his face lower down, trying to keep her out of sight.

“Hey.” She shifted in the chair and leaned over him. He clenched his teeth and pushed his face more in. “Are you okay?”

Gregory stayed quiet, feeling her stare at him. He was hoping that she’d go away.

“I…I saw what you carved into the tree. I’m sorry.” Rei spoke with sadness in her voice, laced with what maybe comfort. He squeezed his hands into fists.

Something clicked against his desk and he could feel warm air come from her. “It’s nice to see you again.”

She went quiet and chattering of other kids could be heard with a rush of cool air at him. He heard Rei’s voice again, but she was far away. His hands loosed and he took a deep breath, feeling anxious and sad. 

Feeling tears in his eyes he rubbed his eyes against his arms. Relax, don’t cry at school. 

He shifted his ears, trying to hear what the other students were saying. Ideas were spread around about themes and concepts. Oh great, the culture festival. Fun.

More people were piping up and throwing their interests into the mix. Since it was fall, the obligatory haunted house idea popped up but was rapidly shot down. Someone suggested maybe a tea ceremony but others thought that was boring and won’t work. 

Some quiet debate went on and the idea of a play was what it came to.

Gregory turned his head so he was staring at the wall and laying on his arms and bag. 

What would he do for one? He liked… trains? And… something else? He didn’t really do much. 

He moved his injured, but healing, arm away from his head to lay on the desk since it hurt.

Would can you do with trains? In like a festival thing at a middle school. No one else likes trains, do they. But he missed his. 

His face was warm and squishy, and he flicked his fingers at his face like a hand fan. The train was basically a comfort item. A memory of love and care from his mother. All this attention from her now felt alien. 

What does he want from life? What will he do with it? He wanted love. Any kind. He bit his tongue as he felt tears on his face, and muddled in the gross feeling of crying and feeling hot.

The class chatted up play ideas, tossing around famous plays and ideas for originals, as well as what type of play. 

Gregory mostly ignored them, crying to the wall.

 

A soon as school ended, Gregory skimped on his cleaning and left. He stared at the lunch box in his hands, tearing up at it. He wanted to give Kitty more food. He wanted to see her again. Pet her fur. Watch her eat. Hear her meow.

Coming to the trees he fully sobbed and walked into them. He dropped before the grave of Kitty and cried over her, morning his only friend.

“Why would someone hurt you?” He cried between sobs. He gasped, looking at his bandaged arm. “Because they hate me?” He gripped his arm and dug his nails into it. “Why should they hurt you though? Hurt me sure. But you never did anything wrong.”

Gregory sad hunched over the spot, looking at the bloody leaves. A shuffle of leaves startled him. He jolted and turned around. He rubbed his eyes of tears and looked. No one. He breathed and kept searching.

Black caught his eye and hitched his breath. He slowly stood up, watching. Seeing around the trees he realized it looked like the one man from about a week ago. Longer than that actually. 

He felt his heart beat in him as he stared at them, and booked it from the place, dashing down the sidewalk. He was already out of breath from crying so much. Luckily home was not far from here.

 

Gregory looked back to see the cloaked figure standing at the tree line, ominously standing there. 

He stumbled and coughed, turning his head around. He ran, running as fast as his legs could move. 

He tripped up to the door, falling onto it. The door rattled from the impact and was opened, causing him to fall forward. He was caught by the arms by his Mama, and he stood there panting and staring down.

“What are you doing?” She asked with shock as she pulled him towards her onto his feet.

He just breathed, looking down. 

“Come on.” She dragged him over and sat him down on the couch, where he sank, laying his arms on his lap. She walked away and he rolled over his arm to look at where he dug his claws into. Holes had been poked through.

He heard the door close and his Mama fiddle around behind him, while he steadied his breathing.

His Mama came back and kneeled before him with a familiar collection of items. He held his arm out, and she gingerly unwrapped the gauze from his arm. Once naked, she held his arm looking at it. He looked too. 

“It’s looking better.” She commented, holding his arm with one hand and grabbing something. It looked a little gross. 

He waited for her to finish up and let his arm drop, he looked towards the window.

“Here Sweetie,” She said with a smile in her voice. She held something up to him. “I know you’ve been sad lately.”

He looked at it. It looked just like him. 

“You can even dress it up!”

He took the cloth doll from her, staring at it. 

How strange.

“Thank you.” He mumbled and slipped off the couch to wander over to his room. He set the doll on his bed and changed into the dress that looked the most comfortable to him, and flopped onto his bed.

Gregory took up the doll again, and stared at it, looking at the details. Either she made someone make it or she was skilled more in sewing than he knew. He didn’t know which.  
He hugged it, either way, pleased by its softness and plush stuffing.

Love. He wanted love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if the heart from Gregory's fantasy (Vol 3 Night 10) is representative or love or sex, but it works either way in the end.
> 
>  
> 
> Also yeah, I've read the manga too, so some influence come from there too.


	9. Angel/Demon Dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since Angel dog and Demon dog are the same character, just different moods of hers, they count as one.

Heaven or Hell?

A common distinction between two things. A question of morality and sin. A result of faith. Two places that could or could not actually exist depending on who you are. A place of joy or pain. And no one has been to and back from either. At least to what Gregory knew.

He was never raised with a religious contentious or anything like that. Sure he celebrated Christmas and such. But that was never anything to do with what it was said to be about. And it’s not like it was fun anyways.

Even then, he’d thought of the concepts from time to time.

Heaven to be the good place. A big light and a fluffy land of clouds or something. Big golden gates where they welcome you. People with large glowing rings on their heads and bird-like wings from their bodies. A place rest and comfort. Joy and safety. Something where, no matter how it had been in life, you were happy and healthy. Even though you’d lose what it was like to be alive.

Hell was to be horrible and dreadful. A dark, sometimes multilayered, place under the Earth’s crust. Full of sharp rocks, lava, fire, and pain. Those who’d done terrible things in life went there. Sometimes even people who really didn’t do all those bad of things. People with large sharp horns on their heads and pointed tails from their bodies. I place of pain and regret. Tears and torment. A price for what you’d done in your life.

Sheep and goats.

Or so he’d heard. 

Really he didn’t know if he believed either were real. If that he’d even get to go. But he’d thought about those places far too much for someone so young. Someone who had a lot to live with. A lot to experience potentially.

But that’s because he’d often assumed and wondered that he’d be dead soon. That he’s own maternal figure was going to be the one who did it. That it would be her hands to spill it.

It wasn’t at all surprising. That sort of mentality and assumption was not rooted in nonsense. But a lack of caring and fear.

How else was he expect things to go?

He had no plans for the future. No care about what he could bring to others.

But he did want to at least feel love. To know what it was like to have that. 

And lately it only really was sometimes. And those times where he was obsessed over and loved felt great. But it also felt fake. It felt like he wasn’t actually getting the attention. But the feeling he got found him grasping for that experience. Trying to force those times before he dressed like a girl where she loved him. Even if it left him empty in the end.

But now he felt that same wonder of what was to happen after life. 

Now as he laid in bed feeling upset and lonely. 

Would he get to go to Heaven? Would he get to play in bright sunlight and fluffy cool clouds? Have wings on his back and a glowing ring above his ears? Get to be happy and safe? Not see his Mama anymore. Maybe feel love from others up there. See those too how once felt the same way he does.

Only if he was killed. And not be his own hands.

Or would he more likely be in Hell? Watching others around him in pain. Watching himself get hurt. Just live a constant state of torment. Would it be as bad as it felt when his Mama hurt him? Worse? He’d felt a lot of things, but didn’t know what was the worst. Even burning his arm days ago didn’t leave the same feeling that being hurt by someone he still loved did.

He wasn't very good was he? He’d often gotten hurt or starved because he didn’t listen. He’d make a mess, break something, not do what he was told, make a fuss, or say something rude. He’d always seemed to act up even if he didn’t want to. And sometimes was blamed for things he didn’t remember doing. He never had the best memory either.  
But he loved his Mama still. And wanted her to know that. But also felt sad that he did love her. She’d hurt him in so many ways so many times and yet he loved her. 

It was his fault.

And so. Maybe everything is fine in heaven. But he’d never get to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last line is a reference to a song, so I wonder if anyone gets it. It's from a sorta obscure artist who I've like since around her start. She's only sorta obscure since one of her songs actually ended up in the Walking Dead. So that's a bit of a hint to what song that is.
> 
> I'd also like to thank everyone for their Kudos, reads, and comment. It means so much to me. I honestly had thought no one would read this. And while that made me sad I was still going to make it. Thank you all so much! Hope you stay to the end. It gets dark and horrible, but that's just what I mean it to be. 
> 
> And don't worry. I'll let anyone know about super triggering things that happen later on. It's nothing explicit or anything (I mean this story is only Mature), but still not fun.


	10. Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. So sorry about the wait on this chapter. I got suddenly super busy! I felt that it was okay for a while since I already posted so much in such a short time. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Gregory growled to himself as he shuffled down the sidewalk. Everyone was inside discussing ideas for the play idea then decided on and complain about how it will go. He could care less. But everyone seemed to care about how he'd contribute. Everyone kept suggesting that he'd play one of the characters or something. He could never do that. Everyone was already making fun of him for dressing in girly clothes and his weak girlish voice that he kept up for his mom and out of habit. 

He'd rather be one of the people that sit outside of the classroom as people went in, or helped decorate and coordinated the layout. Just something that kept fewer eyes on him. Everyone was staring at him all the time, couldn't he just have a time where that's not the case?

"Gracie! Gracie!" He heard Rei's voice calling after him. He clenched his teeth and huffed from his nose. She wasn't terrible, just relentless. 

The sound of her shoes scraped against the sidewalk as she stopped beside him and slapped her hand onto his shoulder. He flinched at that she made a small "Oh" sound and took her hand away.

"Sorry. I…" She took a big breath, trying to catch what she'd lost. "Woah." She smiled as he flattened down his ears. "Okay, um… I was just wondering if you want to hang out with me!" She pulled out a small bag and held it up. It clinked the sound of coins. "My treat." 

Gregory kept his mouth shut and kept walking. 

"Come on! Please! I just wanna get to know you." She hopped as she walked.

Gregory stopped walking and she stumbled and turned to him. 

"So you want to?" She begged, holding up the small bag with coins in it. 

"Fine." 

"Yay!" She squealed, leaping. "First we have to get out of uniform though. Since you know. Against school rules. Meet you outside your house!" She dashed down the sidewalk behind him. He watched her for a moment and walked down the sidewalk home.

When he came inside he was greeted by his overly enthusiastically mother who hugged him with a grin.

"How was school today, sweetie? Come on in!"

He kept his ears down and headed down the hallway and into the room without a word to her.

He stared down the dresses inside the closet, trying to figure out which one would make him not look the most ridiculous. He looked down at the sweater he had picked out and smiled. Seemed the most appropriate. He took it and the skirt that came with it. Making sure that the bow on the skirt was covered by the bottom of the sweater, he left his room and walked down the hall towards the door. 

"Where are you going?" 

He stopped and looked over to her.

"I have someone I'm meeting." He mumbled, not really looking at her.

"Oh really? A friend?" She asked, no clear emotion in her.

He raised on ear slightly. "Kinda?"

"Where's your bow?"

He clenched his teeth and lowered his ear again. He turned around and took the bow from his room and came back. She smiled and took it from him and separated some of her hair and tied it up.

"There! You look so cute." 

Gregory turned and left the house without a word. 

"Have fun! She called with a smile. But you better be home before 4 or I'll be worried!" She called after him.

"Okay." He mumbled, feeling a little fuzzy feeling of happiness in him from her saying that. Worried.

As soon as he stepped down the steps he was pulled into a hug. He gasped and pushed away the person to find it was just Rei.

He pushed his ears down and touched his chest and took a breath.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! I was just… you know." She lowered her arms. "Okay so… you ready?" She stood straight, hands together and ears up.

He hesitantly nodded but added more energy into the nodded at the end. 

"Cool! Let's go." She turned and started making her way down the sidewalk. She was fast and he had to make an effort to keep up with her. She kinda glanced back and said "Oops!" before forcing herself to walk slower. 

The two walked side by side, with Gregory having a slouched posture to her. 

"So…" Rei seemed to calm. "I don't know if I asked you before. Maybe I did but I don't remember…" She seemed to be thinking a lot, trying to choose her words. "Why are you a girl?" She finally asked, an obvious cringe on her face.

Gregory was quiet and thought about it. Should he tell her?

"D-Did I offend you!? I'm so sorry I mean. Well, I'm just curious you know. Maybe it was wrong of me to ask something like that. Oh, I'm such an idiot." She smacked herself on the face. "So uh, never mind. Just pretend I never said that or something." She laughed nervously. 

Her coin pouch clinked. "OH! Are you hungry or something?" 

He looked up at her with not much of an expression. "Um… Not really…" Really he wasn't.

"Oh well, I am." She rushed ahead leading him down the sidewalk to a building. He glanced at the sign to see was a small convince store of sorts. He crossed his arms across him and hugged himself. He did not want to be in public at all. He just wanted to get Rei off his tail.

When they went in Rei went straight for something and he tried his best to keep behind her and avoid others. Plucking up somethings Rei circled to the cash register and paid before moving fast out the door. 

She stopped near the entrance and leaned on the wall to eat. Gregory sighed and stood near her. Rei could be FAST.

Rei giggled and munched away at what she bought.

"So what do you want to do?"

Gregory looked surprised at her. "Um, well I thought you had something planned?"

"Oh no!" Rei bounced. "I thought that it should be your choice."

Gregory stared at her for a moment and looked down. His choice? He hardly ever had a choice in anything. Especially with his mom. Even now.

"Um…" He stood there listening to her eat. Trains. He liked trains. But? Is that weird? He stood there thinking but thoughts of other things evaded him. Was there somewhere around here that had models or toys?

"So?" Rei leaned her face into his which he shrunk back from, lowing his ears.

"I uh…" He looked aside. "I mean."

"Come on spit it out!"

Gregory cringed and sighed. With a shrug and a slight lift of his head he managed to say: "Trains?"

"Oh?!" Rei bounced. "Do you like trains?"

Gregory raised his ears slightly with his head and nodded.

 

Rei tapped her chin. "You like trains?"

Gregory shrugged and nodded his head again.

"Okay! Neat. Trains are pretty cool." Rei nodded her head, and Gregory felt rather happy. "So like. You wanna go look at some or like models or something?"

Gregory titled his head slightly. Going to go check out one would be cool. "Umm… Go see one?" He slightly shrugged his shoulders.

Rei hummed and nodded her head. "Okay. Come on." Rei turned and tossed her trash in a can and started walking down the street. Gregory's ears fully rose and he followed after her close behind.

Rei blabbered about random stuff she liked with few points for him to talk. But she seemed to understand that he wasn't very talkative anyways.

A large train ahead of them caught his eye he stared at it. He'd never seen a real train in person! It was huge! He knew there were big but it was like a building.

Rei leads him up the stairs to the could look at it. 

"Do you know a lot about trains?" Rei asked.

Gregory shook his head.

"Hmm… I bet you'd like to." She leaned on the rail staring out at the machine. He looked over too. 

He looked at all the details and colors it had. Finding himself fascinated by it's being. And he felt himself missing his train.

"We could go on it maybe." She lifted her pouch and he looked over. "That is if I had enough money and you were allowed to go on it." He did have to go home before 4.  
Gregory frowned and looked back at it. 

"Maybe there's some shop we can stop at to look at them. Like models or a toy."

Gregory thought about it a moment. His train and all its tracks were up in the attic. Would she hate that he brought it home? He could just look.

"So?"

Gregory nodded his head. "Sure."

Rei nodded and they stepped down the steps.

This time they had gone to the mall. Rei effortlessly maneuvered the shops and stopped them both at a toy store. Rei looked towards Gregory and grinned before they went in together. 

Gregory looked around at all the things. It was an amazing little shop really. There were toys everywhere. He had no idea that there were so many toys out there.  
Someone welcomed them into the store, but Gregory ignored them. He was far too entranced. The walls and ceiling were decorated with children's toys, both painted and physical. Shelves of toys were everywhere and all seemed so colorful and welcoming.

Rei giggled beside him and walked with him as he looked around. His leg bumped into something and he stopped and looked down. It was a table with a high edge around it to keep the item on there. It was a whole train track set with some added on building and several trains on the track.

Gregory squatted down to it and studied it. Rei smiled and kneeled down near it too. She pushed the top of her finger into the top of one of the trains and pushed it down the rails towards Gregory. 

He watched it and put his own finger on the top of it and pushed it along. Each train had a face and a few colors. There was a blue one, an orange one, and a green one. He picked one up and studied it. They much smaller than the one he had and also were much more cartoonish. He put it down and pushed it along the track.

"Do you like them?" Rei asked, leaning on the edge of the wall around the table. 

Gregory shrugged and pushed one. They were so small.

After a little bit, the two stood up and began to wander around the shop looking at things and wondering about them. They were cute and looked soft. Some stuffed toys seemed to be something that he wanted but was unsure of.

To the back of the store was books. Many books. Gregory looked around while Rei followed any looked herself. Being strangely quiet.

He just looked them up and down wondering if anything would catch his eye. Something with an interesting cover caught his eye and he took the book and looked it over. When he glanced around Rei was gone. Thinking she'd just wandered off he decided to stay put. 

Opening up the book he leaned over reading.

 

"Hey." Rei suddenly spoke and he turned to look at her. "It's getting a little late." She had her hands behind her back. "Wanna get going?"

He looked at her confused and then towards the shop. What time was it?

He got off the books and stood up. "Okay."

She nodded and turned in a way to keep her arms hidden from him and lead him out. 

All the way back home she walked to fast. Every time he tried to keep pace with her she just stepped fast and farther. So he gave up and just trailed behind her.

They stopped before his house and she turned in the same way again and smiled. 

"Bye-bye."

Gregory nodded his head. "Bye." 

Rei took one hand from her back and waved. Then stood there.

Gregory stood there too and there came an awkward silence. 

Rei nodded he head towards the house and he realized what she meant. He lowered his ears and with a wave went up the steps. 

He opened the door and went to step in when he was scooped up. He pushed back.

"There you are! I was just about to look for you." His Mama barked. He looked at the clock on the wall to see that it was only a few minutes past 4.

When she put him down he looked back outside for Rei but she was gone.

"Come in, come in." 

He stepped inside and she closed the door and began removing the coat she had put on presumably moments before.

"Sorry." He squeaked and walked past her to his room. 

He opened the door, shuffled in and sat on his bed. He flopped back and pulled the plush toy version of himself to him and laid staring at the ceiling.

A friend? Was Rei his friend? Could he trust her? Should he tell her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine that people first thought the toy trains were supposed to be Thomas the Tank engine. I'm actually referencing Loco and friends with that. Just a little nod to another Naomi Iwata work.


	11. Roulette Boy

Gregory stared down the school building from behind the gate. School had ended and he was waiting for Rei to leave. They both finished up their cleaning but Rei was turning in something. Most students who are not in clubs already left.

Gregory sighed, kicking a small rock that was on the ground. He promised to hang out with her again today. Possibly even let her stay at his house. Maybe. He regretted that part. He wasn’t even sure if she could. Would Mama let her? Would she even do it? Does it matter? At least he asked to hangout with her today.

He sighed through his nose and looked up to the doors. There, as if on cue, was Rei. She had a big smile and was rushing over to him to hug. Gregory steppe back and braced himself when she came to him. She threw herself on him in a hug.

“Yay! We’re out of school!” Rei squealed, as she pulled away causing him to stumble. “So you thought about where we’re going?” She titled her head. Damn no. He forgot. He didn’t even know this place well enough to think of anything anyways. 

He shrugged, making a neutral expression.

“Oh… Do you even…” She smiled awkwardly and cleared her throat. “How long have you lived here?”

“Since a baby.”

Rei pushed her ears straight up. “Really? How come you’re so lost?”

He lowered his ears at that. Should he be honest? Tell her he never really left the house because Mama wouldn’t let him? That he was a bit dumb because she never talked to him?   
“Umm… I don’t get out much.” He gave as a simple answer. It was true, but it didn’t say anything.

“Well yeah but…” She looked away seemed to think about something and stopped. “Okay. Well why don’t we go around an see what there is. Then maybe next time you can think of what to do!” She stood straight and seemed proud of this idea. 

He nodded his head at her.

“Cool. Come on.”

Rei turned and started to lead him down the street. 

As they came down the street he had walked down with Mama. The street had no one yelling this time and the booths looked closed. Or something. He could see the buildings behind them. But there was nothing on them. 

As they went he also got to see the fortune telling store he’d gone to. He stared at it. It was such a short session. It told him nothing. Or not a lot. Maybe he didn’t enough about it. 

Doors. Lots of doors. In a hallway? In a room? Was it a symbolic thing? Were the doors opportunity in his life? How much older was he? Just a week? Or years? And there were people. Was it the street? The doors just the doors to the stores? 

“Wait!” He snapped back into reality with the feeling of Rei pulling back on his arm. He looked in front of him and around. Water. Oh.

She pulled him more until he stood back. “You almost fell in!”

He looked at the water. It was a river. There was a little bridge that allowed you to walk over it. Where were they?

Gregory turned to her with a look of confusion on his face. 

“Are you okay?” Rei looked concerned now.

He hesitated but nodded. “Sorry. I was just thinking.”

Rei looked at him a moment longer and nodded herself and lead him across the bridge. Ahead was many trees. They weren’t close together. They all looked to be the same type though. On the branches were bright red and pale orange leaves, which swayed softly in the breeze. Many slipped off and flew across the air to the ground. 

Around them was a trail made of sand. Rei started to lead him down.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Rei questioned as she walked, holding an arm into the air to catch some. 

Gregory looked around it, feeling the leaves hit him. They were so small and gentle. 

“You should see it in April! The flowers are such a pretty shade of pink. I love going here with my family to watch them and such.” She had a big grin on her face as she seemed to think fondly of such an experience. “But here in the fall it’s quite pretty took. But in a difference way.” She grabbed a leaf and held it in her palm and watch it take off again, making her giggle. 

A big breeze came by and blew many leaves off the trees and ground, making a big red wave flush across. It was like a story book in a way. It looked so nice, so peaceful. He shivered. But cold.

The sunlight behind the trees was crawling down the sky, and made a nice glow against the leaves. He squinted as he stared at it, watching the light push out across the sky. A very distinct purple line went across the sky separated the pink and orange from the blue. He never really got to see a sunset. There was no window in his… old room. So there was no way he could see it.

It was pretty, and he felt an ease. As it slowly grew darker, he could see his breath before him and looked at Rei. She was smiling at him.

“Ready to go?”

He nodded.

The two turned around and walked away from the area. 

Down the same path they went. There was still few people walking around. The is town was so quiet. So quaint. He never realized that. Clacking of their shoes on the concrete as the walked down past the middle school. Rei was humming to herself a nondescript tune. Or at least one he didn’t know. 

Sooner than he thought. They reached his house. The sky was getting very dark with just a bit of sun coming over the buildings. Bugs were already singing in the vegetation, creating an ugly symphony. 

“Bye.” Rei said with a smile.

Gregory looked at her and shook his head. Rei seemed surprised, but then seemed to remember. 

“Oh yeah!” she giggled and stepped closer to him. “Okay.”

The two went up to the door and he cringed as he grabbed the door knob. He could feel his heart beating in his chest as he push it open.

Mama was right on the other side of the door. She first smiled but then saw Rei and frowned. Gregory tensed and lead Rei in.

“Who’s that?” Mama first spoke. Rei glanced at Gregory as he looked up at Mama.

“ A friend.” Gregory replied with certainty. 

“Hi Ms.” Rei waved. “We’re in class together. He said I could stay over.”

Mama looked down at him then her. Gregory couldn’t read her face.

“Okay.” Mama turned and walked into the kitchen.

Rei closed the door and slipped from her shoes.

Gregory lead Rei down the hall to his room and in. 

“Woah!” Rei smiled when she came in. “I always wondered what your room looked like.” She stood sorta in the middle and looked around. Gregory sat on the bed, and pushed the stuffed toy version of him out of sight. 

Rei turned to look at him. He patted the bed lightly next to him. She sat down.

“Gregory!” Mama could be heard from the kitchen. He startled and looked at Rei. She looked at him and shrugged.

He walked out of the room and to his mama. She didn’t look very happy. He felt anxious but safe. Either she wasn’t gonna hurt him because Rei was here or if she did Rei could help. Or something.

“Do never asked me you know.” Mama she spoke low but disapprovingly. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Does her mother even know?” She squinted.

“I-I don’t know.”

“It’s okay Ms. I already told my parents.” Rei butted in, appearing next to Gregory.

Mama looked rather dismissive, “I won’t be able to feed you.”

“That’s alright! I’ll be fine.” Rei waved her hands before her. “I’ll just be in Gracie’s room the whole time.”

Mama stood there quiet before she turned away. “Fine.”

Rei smiled and looked at Gregory who just let go of the breath he was holding. Rei went ahead of him and he followed with a glance to Mama. The two sat down on the bed with the room door closed.

“Your room is very pink.” She giggled. “I don’t know, I’m kinda surprised. But maybe I shouldn’t be?”

“Yeah. Mama went a little crazy.” He shifted on the bed. “It’s better than my old room.” He clenched his teeth realizing what he said. 

“Oh? Like the style?” Rei leaned, trying to keep him talking as he so often just stayed quiet.

“Um…” He shifted. Should he? “It was… smaller.”

Rei looked confused. “I thought you said that you lived here since a baby?”

He nodded, “Switched rooms.”

She looked around as if there was going to be a door or something to the other one. “Oh?”

He looked away and went quiet.

“How long have you had this room?”

“Since I started to wear girl clothes.”

Rei was quiet and thinking. He had no idea what she was thinking, but her felt anxious. He felt like he wasn’t breathing. He quietly gasped for air, feeling the back of he throat move. He was breathing, but it only felt like he was when he gasped.

The two talked about random things that came to mind. Rei mostly talked. She talked about things she and her family did. Things like trips and traditions. Holidays. He found himself jealous. He went no where. Mama ever spent much beyond some food for him before. Sure she managed to buy all these things for him. But… It made no sense. No no. 

Where did she get the money for all these dresses and new furniture. Dolls. Especially one that looked just like him. Better food. Actually lunch. Where did she get the money?  
He was pulled from his thoughts by his mama calling for dinner. He looked at Rei who nodded for him to go ahead.

He slipped out of the room and into the kitchen. It was a normal amount of food. He sat down an ate. It was quiet. But unnervingly quiet. Mama was obviously mad, but she wasn’t talking about it. She only really hurt him once after he started wearing girl clothes. And that was hardly anything. He found himself trying to assure himself that he wasn’t gonna find himself in pain.

Done. He excused himself and slipped back into his room. Rei was just kicking her feet waiting. He sat beside her again. 

For a while they talked til she seemed to get sleepy. 

“I think I should get going.” Rei decided. She stood up from the bed. She bid him goodbye with a wave and walked out.

He watched to leave and listened til he head the front door shut. He sat in silence and felt tears in his eyes. He laid down and rolled so he faced the wall. He shoved a hand under the pillow, but his hand bumped something hard.

Pushing himself up by the arms, but reached back under until he felt it again. He pulled it out and looked at it. It was a book. The one he saw yesterday. 

Gregory sat up and sniffed, rubbing an eye. He looked at the cover, studying the image on it. He looked towards the bedroom door again and back.

She bought it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware of Japanese customs and such, I like to pick in chose things from American and Japanese culture for this story. This is a good example of that.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading this story, especially this far. I hope that you stick to the end.   
> The next chapter with come out when ever it does.


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